H Hog
Robo Nerd
BRAIIIIIINSSS
Posts: 194
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Post by H Hog on Oct 11, 2010 15:47:09 GMT
Doctor, doctor, I am falling apart. Then pull yourself together then. but I don't have the GUTS to do so! That reminds me, why didn't the Skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts for it!
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Post by ontels on Oct 11, 2010 18:36:05 GMT
Ok, two Hunters were walking in the woods. One of the Hunters was in pain and fell over. The Second Hunter called for an ambulance. "I think my friend is dead" says the Hunter. "ok, can you check to see that he's actually dead?" replied the Operator. The operator then hears a loud gunshot and the Hunter says "OK, now what?" Thats one of the most populer jokes in the world! Thesse are supposed to be bad jokes!
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Post by SassiKittyCat on Oct 11, 2010 18:45:30 GMT
What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing, stupid, apples don't talk
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Post by lukethef0x on Oct 11, 2010 22:29:36 GMT
Whats Kermits favourite reading material?
Frogs Porn.
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Post by SassiKittyCat on Oct 11, 2010 22:33:21 GMT
Luke that is bad ROFL
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Post by ontels on Oct 12, 2010 6:34:12 GMT
Actually I think I'm gunna use that one....thanks Luke!
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Post by SassiKittyCat on Oct 12, 2010 7:55:29 GMT
A family was on their way to Disneyland, some time later they come across a sign which reads "Disneyland, left", so the car turns around and goes home
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shadowdinosaur
Robo Nerd
A Dinosaur that exists in the modern era. JOY!! You can't help it. You just can't help it, I say.
Posts: 156
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Post by shadowdinosaur on Oct 13, 2010 16:53:29 GMT
Hahahaha these jokes are getting zany! xD
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Post by rogerfromimp on Oct 13, 2010 19:39:49 GMT
A hunter walks trough the forest and sees a deer. He aims, shoots and misses. "Godamnit! I missed" the hunter shouts. Suddenly a loud voice booms from the sky. "How dare you misuse my holy name? Don't let me catch you again!" The hunter continues hunting and sees a rabbit. He aims, shoots and misses. "Godamnit, missed again!" the hunter curses. "I warned you, this is the last time!"boomed the voice from the sky. The hunter continues the hunt, sees a hare, aims shoots and misses. "Godamnit, missed again" Suddenly a lightning bolt explodes right next to the hunter. From the sky, a voice boomed: "Godamnit, missed again."
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H Hog
Robo Nerd
BRAIIIIIINSSS
Posts: 194
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Post by H Hog on Oct 13, 2010 19:52:08 GMT
That reminds me of this one time in ancient times when a crowd was about to hold a public execution for a woman, by stoning her. So Jesus Christ, when he still walked the earth, stood in front of the woman and spoke to the crowd, telling them that "He who lives without sin, should cast the first stone." All of a sudden, a humongous meteor drops from the sky and flattens the woman. So Jesus looks up at the sky annoyed and shouts "Oh VERY funny, Dad!"
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Post by SassiKittyCat on Oct 13, 2010 21:59:32 GMT
Don't have phone sex
you could get hearing aids.
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Post by Double-S-NL on Oct 13, 2010 23:07:34 GMT
got this joke from Danbuster.. xD
A man is trapped in his house by a rising flood - he considers himself a devoted Christian and reasons that God will save him. The water rises, so he has to go to the first floor. Later, a boat passes by, and the men on board call "Come aboard!" But the man say, "No, God will save me!" So the boat goes away. The water continues rising, so he has to climb up to the attic. Soon, another rescue boat comes past, and they call to him to come on board.~ But the man says, "No, God will save me!" So that boat carries on its way too, unable to wait with other people to be saved. The water continues rising, and he has to squat on the rooftop. Then a helicopter flies by. The pilot drops a winch and urges him to climb up. But the man says, "No, God will save me!" So the pilot has to leave him. The water continues rising, and the man drowns. So he goes up to Heaven, and is met by God. "Here, why didn't you save me?" asks the man. "Oh, come on!" replies God, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter! What more did you want?!"
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Post by SassiKittyCat on Oct 13, 2010 23:14:01 GMT
Three people were arguing over some tracks, one said they were bear tracks, the other said they were deer tracks and the third said that they were rabbit tracks.
They all keep on bickering and arguing till the train hit them
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Post by lukethef0x on Oct 14, 2010 14:16:44 GMT
One day in class one of the pupils made a rude noise. "Stop that!" Said the Teacher. "Ok, which way did it go?" Replied the pupil.
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Post by SassiKittyCat on Oct 14, 2010 16:49:44 GMT
There were three horny dogs (A British bulldog, A German shephard and a Chihuaha)
A poodle walked by and she says "Ill let one of you date me if you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence"
The Bulldog says "I hate liver and cheese" ... She says "Nope that wont work"
The German shephard says "I love liver and cheese"
She says "Nope that wont work"
The Chihuaha says "Liver alone cheese mine"
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